Guard and Protect Your Marriage

Dr. H. Wallace Goddard says in his book Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage: "Today Satan attacks us with subtle and indirect means. He gets us inappropriately close to someone who is not our spouse under the guise of missionary work, friendship or helpfulness. He subtly builds inappropriate emotional bonds while quieting our consciences with weak rationalizations. Perhaps this is Satan's favorite ploy with those who desire goodness and are filled with compassion" (Goddard, 89)

I would be willing to venture a guess that most people going into their marriage have zero plans to be unfaithful to their spouse. Satan knows this and so it is through his careful, crafty ways that he gradually leads someone away from his or her spouse so that they may be in too deep before they even realize what they have allowed to happen.

My husband is a college professor and is put in situations with students and colleagues regularly where he may find himself alone with members of the opposite sex. He tries to remedy these scenarios by always keeping his office door open when he is consulting with a student or another professor and when he has to go to lunch or dinner with another female, he tries to see if someone else can go with him. I remember a few years ago he was serving as the department chair and had the responsibility for hiring a new Spanish professor. Part of the process is that he was expected to take the candidates out for dinner. I was not allowed to come along on these business meals due to privacy laws since this was still considered part of the interview experience. My husband was able to get another female colleague to join in the dinner that evening. It happened to fall on Valentine's Day, which was unfortunate because I would have liked to be the one celebrating the holiday at a fancy restaurant with my husband! I remember when my husband came home, our teenage son said, "Hey Dad, how was your Valentine's dinner with two women who aren't your wife?"

We could laugh about that but only because the idea of my husband having emotional and romantic feelings for any woman other than me was absolutely absurd. Over the years we have worked to prevent such a thing from ever happening . We are "alert to the predictable temptations that Satan uses to break up marriages. We...monitor our behavior and our feelings closely. Being alert to the danger signs we can prevent the problems that begin so innocently but end so disastrously" (Goddard, 93-94).

Last week I found out that my childhood home had burned to the ground. It was a log home that my dad built, set on top of a hill that overlooked a beautiful valley in the country. I had many happy memories growing up there. My parent's sold the house when my dad was transferred to another state. Currently no one was living in the home. A corporation had purchased it and used it for occasional company retreats. Because it was vacant and because it was rather isolated with the nearest neighbors living 1/2 mile away, no one was aware of the first sign of fire or smoke. It had been burning for quite some time before the flames were high enough to be noticeable. The fire department was called, but because the road leading up the hill had not been plowed after recent heavy snowfall, the fire crews had a very difficult time reaching the fire and more precious time was lost. By the time they arrived on the scene, the home was completely engulfed and collapsing in on itself. They finally got the fire put out but all that was left was the basement foundation.

Photo Credit: Duchesne County Volunteer Fire Department

If someone had been living in the home or making periodic checks of the place and keeping it maintained, they may have seen warning signs that there was a problem or the fire could have been extinguished when it was just beginning. But because no one was taking care of the place, it was too late to save it when the fire got out of control.

The same is true of our marriages. We have to nurture our relationships and guard against signs of danger. We need to take precautions to safeguard our marriages and keep our emotions focused on one another instead of just coming home for a periodic "retreat". We have to spend time together doing things we enjoy. We need to have regular, open talks about our marital intimacy if we are to keep that aspect of our relationships growing. We must be very careful in our relationships with others of the opposite sex and ensure that we never allow our heart to dwell on anyone else. Dr. Goddard says "Avoiding is better than resisting." And we have to remember our sacred marriage covenants and the beautiful promises we're blessed with for being faithful to those covenants.

Dr. Goddard reminds us that "Those who resist the lure and guile of Satan, those who honor covenants, those who tend the little garden of their own covenants, will enjoy sweetness in this life and rewards unmeasured in the world to come."

In contrast he tells us: Satan "offers love, fun and a satisfying life. But it is a lie. He wants to get us to violate our covenants. But he has no joy to deliver on his grandiose promises. . . . As usual, Satan's lies are extravagant--but empty."

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Goddard, H.W. (2007). Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage. Fairfax, VA: Meridian Publishing.